I was adjusting Kyle’s bike the other day. I went to sit back on the step stool and the whole thing folded up under me. I landed on my tailbone, or what doctors call ‘coccyx’.
1st thought: OW!
2nd thought: Damn, I hope I don’t have to go to the emergency room.
3rd thought: (see first thought)
I could hardly sit down without a hard lean. Phoebe and the kids all made fun of me because I’m butt-challenged. Apparently, I’m all legs and then back.
“But it’s so tiny.”
“Oh, poor thing, you don’t have any cushion.”
“Too bad you don’t have a poppin’ butt.”
“How can you hurt what’s not there?”
It’s been a few weeks now and it’s still hard to sit down. (Turns out the coccyx takes a long time to heal. Also, I enjoy a good sit.) Early on Phoebe said, “Maybe you should get one of those butt donuts. Or maybe you can use that neck pillow. Don’t we have a neck pillow?”
We are not neck pillow people, but we do have a neck pillow. I think we got it a white elephant party. Anyway, it doesn’t not work, but I end up doing a lot of standing at my desk.
The other night Phoebe noticed the way I grimaced as I got into bed.
Phoebe: It still hurts?
Phoebe: Is the neck pillow working?
Steve: You mean the butt croissant?
That’s it. I just wanted to get to butt croissant. Have a nice day, everyone!
Full disclosure: The adjustment I was making on Kyle’s bike was taking off the training wheels.
Fuller disclosure: No, don’t get too excited. It was a little premature.
Fullest disclosure: But for better or worse, I think we’ll have a lot of time this summer to complete his bike mastery.